Thank you for conversations out of the norm, for listening to me pour my heart out up to 4am, and for reassuring me without fail that all my thoughts are just.. thoughts. Nothing more.
This time last year was the best week ever, and although we didn't have that this time around because of work.. Today was possibly one of our best days.
...it's a little bit more than I can stand. Hee. So crazy about this song. Krystel shares this crazy hobbit obsession. Haha!
Baby, I'll wait for you. I'm ALWAYS waiting. I wonder when this will all finally end. Haha!
What's new? I decided to go to work while school's out. So that means, I'm working tomorrow. On Good Friday, nonetheless. What can I do? There's no such thing as a religious holiday in the place I work in. And besides, I'm saving for a Florida getaway when someone comes over. :) HAHAHA hindi naman halatang excited noh.
I'm so happy my sister and I are back in action. We kind of had a fight (don't AKS, long story), and didn't talk for a month. Can you believe it? It was painful though, I've to tell you. But yknow you can only ignore each other for so much time, especially when the person is your other half, best friend, and sister. A lot of people envy our relationship (not even being conceited, they tell us themselves), and it's exactly because what we have is extraordinarily special. We got each other's backs no matter what, even when other friends people try to break that bond. It's different. Friends can easily be replaced, but you only got one family. And they're the ones who'll be there when everything else collides.
What can I say? When you love someone, over time every wrong thing they did becomes irrelevant and easily forgotten. That's love. You take them back without any questions asked. As if nothing really happened.
Tini Lau, I'm glad nothing horrible had to happen to one another (like being stupid enough to get a tetanus shot, WURD.) before we patched things up. I've to thank my Smart cellphone though. I love you! Shopping (both for real and wishful-thinking), pigging out, getting broke, taking pictures, surfing Multiply albums (or ALBUM? Haha!), watching DVDs, and late night kulitans are so much more fun when it's with you. =] All other "friends" can go crazy around Myspace and take us off from their top friends, but yknow what? I DON'T CARE. 'Slong as I got ya. I gotcha maaa! <3
Since I haven't read as much books as I intended to this year, I tried to compensate. Key word is TRIED. I loaned three books on nursing, and that book above was the first book I read. (I'm only halfway done with Trauma Junkie. The next one's Nursing America) I have to admit that even though our professor is too flamboyant, our Trends of Nursing class really took me to the next level in my nursing career. For the past few semesters, it's only been school-hospital-school. Sometimes, in order to become a really good nurse you have to be out there in the community and experience firsthand what it is to be one. It's been fulfilling. Sure it's nothing like experiencing a woman give birth in the labor & delivery unit, but the experience is exhilarating when simple ordinary people from the community thank you for spending a minute or two talking to them about their high blood pressure, what to eat and how to cook their food, and what their "pills" really are. Little things.
Anyway, I've been meaning to write this long post on nursing days ago but I never got around to it. It's basically my mission to get people into nursing. I know it's cliche (especially in the Philippines), but Lord knows we don't need any more doctors or lawyers! (Haha, sorry guys.) I was actually telling the boyfriend during one of our conversations that at this point, I don't care as much as I used to if people did it for money/practicality/whatever. I honestly believe that people who don't have the passion for it won't be in it for the long haul. (Sorry, ang tamaan wag magalit.) I've seen friends drop out of nursing school. The desire for money is not enough (but good Lord, thank You for a profession that is fulfilling both emotionally and financially! HAHA) That alone doesn't make you stay in a profession like this. Let me tell you why. I've witnessed firsthand the ramifications of the nursing shortage when we go to clinicals. IT IS CRAZY. It's honestly not like nursing in the books. Yknow, the kind where the nurse actually has time to talk to the patient during her shift. Hell, she doesn't even have time to eat or pee. It is that crazy. And so all the more, I hope people get into nursing. And I hope each nurse doesn't shun people away from a profession that badly needs manpower.
I think as nurses and/or future nurses, we should all go out and tell the world. Become nurses just like how it's really supposed to be according to Nightingale, mah lady. Haha! Srsly, I hope we don't become nurses who simply go to work and go home without being out there. (Krystel, CULTURE na ba?) That's REAL nursing. Taking it out to the streets. Being a nurse even when you're not in your ugly nursing school uniform or your chic scrubs.
And as for you other people who haven't considered nursing, I hope you do. Haha, it entails a whole lot of sacrifice, but there's nothing more fulfilling than taking care of another person's needs before taking care of yours. This wasn't really meant to be a nursing recruitment post. I actually meant to say, PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES. Go to a doctor regularly. Get your annual physical check-ups. Watch what you eat. Exercise. (Me too.) Because if you take care of yourself, then that means lower prevalence of the horrible diseases/conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, obesity and hypertension. And yknow what that means for us in the other end. Yep, less work. Yknow, no matter how superwoman we nurses look like.. We still have stomachs to fill when they're hungry, bladders that need to be emptied, backs that'll eventually weaken, and legs that'll abound with varicosities over time.
My phone was constantly ringing while I was inside church. I figured my classmate just wanted to chat. It's after all the beginning of our spring break. I didn't bother listening to her voice mail message, and just called her back. I was pretty surprised to hear what she had to say. She said one of our classmates committed suicide last night (God, it's so hard to type that.) I immediately asked her if she was pulling an April Fools' prank on me, and that this wasn't a nice joke. Well, news to me.. It was true. *insert all expletives here*
Why. Why why why didn't anyone notice that she was depressed. Some of us actually did notice that she lost a whole lot of weight (she said she was bulimic before) and she looked very haggard. We figured it was just stress from school or some other thing. But sh*t nalang talaga. Why.
The only fond memory I have of her was on our day for CPR training. She was actually my first friend in nursing school. We were together the whole day. She showed me where the train was from the hospital, and we took it all the way home together. We were never in the same class or clinical group together. And one day she came up to me and said hi and that we never got to talk after that day in CPR coz we never got the same clinical professors. But somehow you know, it tugs at my heart. She was young, possibly younger than me. And she had so much ahead of her. Hell, we are graduating this semester and pretty soon we were all gonna be nurses.
But shit talaga. Whyyy. This was so unexpected.
Starting today, I think I'm going to make extra efforts to extend a helping hand and a listening ear. These things could've been prevented had she had someone to talk to. :( :( :( So friends, give those you feel are depressed/sad/whatever a word of encouragement, a huge hug, and possibly a heart-to-heart talk over coffee. Or something. Just let them know they're loved.
God bless her soul. :\
As you all probably know, school started yesterday. Unlike the previous semesters, this semester we went straight to clinical duty on the first day. It really wasn't anything. It was orientation for the most part. But today, wow wow wow! Haha, we actually did so much!
Let's see, this semester I'm assigned to a long-term facility. No, this hospital doesn't have an emergency room. The patients in this hospital have been here for years and practically live here. It's a very old hospital, and it gives me the creeps. It kind of reminds me of the hospitals in the Philippines.
My professor? Well, aside from being a nurse he is actually an attorney. He's so particular about grammar and proper word usage. Earlier, he cut off my groupmate when she said she was nauseous. As opposed to being nauseated. He has 7 degrees under his belt, so I guess he really just loves studying. He is good anyway. He's not the professor who's always watching you. I haven't actually encountered him on the floor. He just simply lets us run loose.
As for the unit we go to, it's a chronic respiratory unit. Everyone is hooked up to a mechanical ventilator. Almost everyone is fed through a feeding tube, pees through a catheter, and has colostomy bags attached. Oh, and almost everyone is well... To put it bluntly, unconscious and/or brain dead.
Well today, we didn't get our specific patient assignments. We were tasked to follow what they call a Med Surg Technician in the unit. Very similar to Patient Care Associates, Certified Nurses' Aides, etc. They have way too many names for this! I worked with one kind lady and cleaned up 5 patients.
Now I've done patient care on patients, but after seeing the first patient.. I just knew all those I washed in the past were EASY patients! I open the sheets and I see the patient fully contracted in a fetal position. It was a struggle just getting his gown out without pulling out any of his tubes. And dear God, the smell was nerve-wracking even with the mask on. I usually have high tolerance for this, but.. Ah! It was just different. I told myself I shouldn't have eaten breakfast that morning. And then we washed and washed away. All those bed bath procedures in the book and in the videos just flew right out of the window! Washing this patient was totally different. Totally different from the books!!
And then the ventilator starts beeping and everything in the patient's face turns red and round and/or open. We oxygenated. We suctioned. Over and over. And there he's okay. But my God, I cannot for the life of me forget the face of the patient as if wanting to strangle me by my hair to please suction his trach and give him air. It was very.. scary.
We washed some more. We turned him and what I saw were pressure ulcers so bad. I will not even attempt to describe what I saw (and smelled) to make my point, because wow. It was just that bad. At the end of that morning, I would think to myself.. Shet, I've seen more pressure ulcers today than in my 3 previous semesters in nursing school!
And we changed and cleaned everything. His trach tube, inner cannula, colostomy bag, Texas condom catheter, and feeding bag. And then we changed the sheets, strapped him on to a new diaper, turned him (with much difficulty, I must say). We positioned him properly, put up the side rails, cleaned up our trash, turned off his light, took out our gloves, and went out.
And we did this on 4 more patients.
In the middle of everything, I just wanted to cry. I could only remember thinking, "What if this was Dad or Mom or someone close to me?" These people were staying here forever, really. They're not getting any better. They're all just well, waiting for death. Of the 5 patients I cleaned up today, only 1 actually had family pictures stuck on his bedside. All the others had nothing. There's nothing worse than being sick and having no one with you. Really. And all I could really remember thinking was, "My God, I have to clean him well. I have to put on the diaper properly. And straighten the sheets beautifully. This was all I could give him.. At least give him his dignity, even though he's dying."
I tell you, you'll definitely look at life differently when you come face to face with these patients. It's something I can't even describe.
This semester's clinical will be so blessed. I cannot wait.
It's the beginning of the end tomorrow. :) Wish me luck on my first day of my last semester!
Seems like this is the year when all my waiting will pay off. PTL!
I'm trying to remember how to draw blood, how to put on an IV/Foley.... Just in case I'd have to do one of these on Monday. Last semester, here we go!
It's seems like I've a knack for obscure instrumental songs. Last week in the office, I bothered everyone when this song where a girl was just screaming played. I've been so curious about the song since 4th grade. Would you believe? Haha, it was popular along with Eraserheads I think. My officemate could only give me the artist , he somehow couldn't remember the title. Turns out it was Sugar Hiccup's Five Years. I was elated! Finally after 10 years.
Imagine my excitement today when I somehow stumbled upon this instrumental song I've been in love with ever since. It's usually played in the movies and it's sooo romantic. I've always imagined myself walking down the aisle to that song. It's Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D Major. So pretty!!! I love all these arrangements, but the first two (the full orchestra and strings version tie in my top 1 spot.) The harp version is extremely romantic. The piano version is pretty okay. I even heard an electric guitar version HAHA! But that one was just funny.
What is one of your favorite poems?
Submitted by marvel is my pen name.
I'm really not a big fan of poetry. I don't really enjoy analyzing and interpreting poems, because there's just about a thousand and more ways to interpret a certain poem. But anyway, here's a poem I've come to like. I first heard it during Easter homily two years ago? Be blessed :)
Myra Brooks Welch
It was battered and scarred,
And the auctioneer thought it
hardly worth his while
To waste his time on the old violin,
but he held it up with a smile.
"What am I bid, good people", he cried,
"Who starts the bidding for me?"
"One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?"
"Two dollars, who makes it three?"
"Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three,"
But, No,
From the room far back a gray bearded man
Came forward and picked up the bow,
Then wiping the dust from the old violin
And tightening up the strings,
He played a melody, pure and sweet
As sweet as the angel sings.
The music ceased and the auctioneer
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"
As he held it aloft with its' bow.
"One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?"
"Two thousand, Who makes it three?"
"Three thousand once, three thousand twice,
Going and gone", said he.
The audience cheered,
But some of them cried,
"We just don't understand."
"What changed its' worth?"
Swift came the reply.
"The Touch of the Masters Hand."
And many a man with life out of tune
All battered with bourbon and gin
Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd
Much like that old violin
A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,
A game and he travels on.
He is going once, he is going twice,
He is going and almost gone.
But the Master comes,
And the foolish crowd never can quite understand,
The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought
By the Touch of the Masters' Hand.
My vacation's about to end, which also means I will soon be job-less and will be back to relying on my allowance from my parents. It's such a distraction to being working just across Manhattan's shopping area, especially on Fridays. It also doesn't help that I meet my Mom inside the mall everyday after work. But I think I've gotten better in steering myself away from walking in the nearby stores. I can't help it. There's always something nice you'll see. But no, I'm more determined to save up for this summer. Like maybe, Disneyland?
I haven't gotten any reading -- both leisure and academic - done over the vacation. Ugh. It was my New Year's resolution to read more books! I only got to read TWO books -- Fast Food Nation and Captivating. And I'm not yet even done with the second one. It is officially my favorite book though. I honestly think it is every woman's must read. No, actually I think boys should read it too. There are just so many good books to read I don't know when I'll ever find the time! Right now I'm currently reading (or at least trying to) Murakami's Dance Dance, a gift I would never have expected from Ian. I haven't read much, because I almost always fall asleep during my commute to and from work.
Still on books, I requested The Memory Keeper's Daughter from the public library months ago. I was probably #52 in queue. And just weeks ago, I received a notice saying some database error occurred and my request wasn't processed. Ugh! Maybe I really ought to get myself my own copy.
And a couple of other books I want to get (but won't because I don't have time to read):
Am I the only one wishing that winter is over? I'm so sick of the freezing weather! I've been dreaming of wearing tank tops and slippers and walking around under the sun.
Seems like this year's summer will be awesome. I'm still praying for it. I'm still WAITING, Lord. ;)
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